Walking away from a toxic family/relationship takes an incredible amount of courage. In fact, most times the decision to walk away has to be made before courage even shows up. In so many cases, the setting of boundaries has nothing to do courage at all. It has to do with the dire need to get yourself away from abuse. Most often, the decision to walk away comes from resolve. You will meet up with resolve when you finally arrive at a place where the abuse and manipulation directed towards you is so egregious and obvious that you land in the realization that things will never change, no matter what you do. This type of resolve isn’t defeat, it’s the raw acceptance your reality. When the hope is gone, resolve replaces it. Courage comes in to support your choice to stay away from your abusers and commit to your healing process. Courage helps you work through the feeling of being paralyzing alone in the world. It is no easy feat to be family-less or to feel as if there is no grounding love or support in your life. The alone part is where your personal work and courage are called into play. You must hold the mindset that if you had the courage and fortitude to survive a toxic family or other relationship and all their manipulative and abusive games, then you have it within yourself to figure out how to live a happy life without them in it.
Sherrie Campbell, PhD
Drugs, Booze & Woes 